Drawn for Blank Party’s Banjo-Partie! zine.
↓ Transcript
(WASHO-MACHOOIE, drawn for Blank Party's Banjo-Partie! zine; this comic was written and drawn by Lobst.)
(Exterior shot of the sandcastle in Treasure Trove Cove; a WHAM! sound is heard.)
(Interior shot; Banjo and Kazooie are inspecting the letters on the floor.)
BANJO: (We just hit 'J'...)
KAZOOIE: (And 'O' is right over there!)
(Banjo jumps toward the 'O' tile.)
BANJO: (Got it!)
(they execute a flawless Beak Buster maneuver on the 'O'...)
(...and magic happens, causing a KRAKOW! explosion to occur.)
(Banjo and Kazooie are now merged into the form of a washing machine.)
BOTTLES: (Ha...ha...ha... look at you! To change back, just type 'NOBONUS'.)
MUMBO: (Hey, that much bad magic! Washer not as good as bear, don't come bawling to Mumbo if can't get through all worlds...)
(From here on, Banjo and Kazooie's voices are indicated through the color and texture of their balloon tails. Banjo's are light blue lines, Kazooie's are deep red gradients. They leave the castle, frustrated.)
BANJO: (Rrgh! I was hoping for something better than this!)
KAZOOIE: (For once we're in agreement! This is garbage!)
(They exit Treasure Trove Cove and head through Gruntilda's Lair.)
KAZOOIE: (...Wait. Shouldn't we have changed back by now?)
BANJO: (We probably just need to go further out.)
(They exit Gruntilda's Lair completely, and stand on Spiral Mountain as their new clothes-washer self.)
BANJO: (...It hasn't happened yet...)
KAZOOIE: (...What if there's no time limit on this?)
(They both share thoughts of the future: they help Tooty perform long-division; they see her off to college graduation; they help her and her future spouse care for their children, never once unfusing from their grotesque metallic appliance form.)
(they find themselves standing, once more, on Spiral Mountain, unsure what to do with themself.)
BANJO: (...Should we change back manually?)
KAZOOIE: (No, of course not.)
(they rush back into Gruntilda's Lair)
KAZOOIE: (...after all, there are so many jiggies left to get!)
BANJO: (Let's get going, then!!!)
[THIRTY-NINE JIGGIES LATER...]
(They stand close to the platform where you're teleported to the finale's quiz game section.)
BANJO-KAZOOIE: (Grunty is just past this portal, I bet! Let us make haste, and trod upon her swollen body; we will make her rue the day she dared cross us! A whole new life is ahead of us, and all that is needed of us to begin it is to defeat her and take back what is rightfully ours; our sister, the light of Spiral Mountain, who was unfairly taken from us for the nasty witch's selfish material gain! Onward!!!)
(they jump onto the platform...)
(...which causes them to teleport away in glittering magic effects...)
(...and they reappear in the quiz area, but as their separate bear and bird selves.)
KAZOOIE: (looking at her own wing) ...Oh. We're us again...
BANJO: (looking at his own hands) That must've been the barrier Mumbo was talking about...
(they look at each other, smiling)
(Kazooie playfully pecks at Banjo's head)
BANJO: Hee hee hee!
BANJO: (The goal is near!)
KAZOOIE: (Let's get going!!!)
[END]
(Exterior shot of the sandcastle in Treasure Trove Cove; a WHAM! sound is heard.)
(Interior shot; Banjo and Kazooie are inspecting the letters on the floor.)
BANJO: (We just hit 'J'...)
KAZOOIE: (And 'O' is right over there!)
(Banjo jumps toward the 'O' tile.)
BANJO: (Got it!)
(they execute a flawless Beak Buster maneuver on the 'O'...)
(...and magic happens, causing a KRAKOW! explosion to occur.)
(Banjo and Kazooie are now merged into the form of a washing machine.)
BOTTLES: (Ha...ha...ha... look at you! To change back, just type 'NOBONUS'.)
MUMBO: (Hey, that much bad magic! Washer not as good as bear, don't come bawling to Mumbo if can't get through all worlds...)
(From here on, Banjo and Kazooie's voices are indicated through the color and texture of their balloon tails. Banjo's are light blue lines, Kazooie's are deep red gradients. They leave the castle, frustrated.)
BANJO: (Rrgh! I was hoping for something better than this!)
KAZOOIE: (For once we're in agreement! This is garbage!)
(They exit Treasure Trove Cove and head through Gruntilda's Lair.)
KAZOOIE: (...Wait. Shouldn't we have changed back by now?)
BANJO: (We probably just need to go further out.)
(They exit Gruntilda's Lair completely, and stand on Spiral Mountain as their new clothes-washer self.)
BANJO: (...It hasn't happened yet...)
KAZOOIE: (...What if there's no time limit on this?)
(They both share thoughts of the future: they help Tooty perform long-division; they see her off to college graduation; they help her and her future spouse care for their children, never once unfusing from their grotesque metallic appliance form.)
(they find themselves standing, once more, on Spiral Mountain, unsure what to do with themself.)
BANJO: (...Should we change back manually?)
KAZOOIE: (No, of course not.)
(they rush back into Gruntilda's Lair)
KAZOOIE: (...after all, there are so many jiggies left to get!)
BANJO: (Let's get going, then!!!)
[THIRTY-NINE JIGGIES LATER...]
(They stand close to the platform where you're teleported to the finale's quiz game section.)
BANJO-KAZOOIE: (Grunty is just past this portal, I bet! Let us make haste, and trod upon her swollen body; we will make her rue the day she dared cross us! A whole new life is ahead of us, and all that is needed of us to begin it is to defeat her and take back what is rightfully ours; our sister, the light of Spiral Mountain, who was unfairly taken from us for the nasty witch's selfish material gain! Onward!!!)
(they jump onto the platform...)
(...which causes them to teleport away in glittering magic effects...)
(...and they reappear in the quiz area, but as their separate bear and bird selves.)
KAZOOIE: (looking at her own wing) ...Oh. We're us again...
BANJO: (looking at his own hands) That must've been the barrier Mumbo was talking about...
(they look at each other, smiling)
(Kazooie playfully pecks at Banjo's head)
BANJO: Hee hee hee!
BANJO: (The goal is near!)
KAZOOIE: (Let's get going!!!)
[END]